Sometimes I feel that my life here is just an illusion. Nothing more than bubbles that soon will burst.

Sometimes Khalil, 31, feels like his life in Sweden is more difficult than during the war. He came here full of hopes and big dreams. But it seems like he's always waiting. Here is Khalils story.

Before the war began, life was fine. I worked in Damascus as a financial manager for a mobile phone company and had a degree from the School of Economics. I had met a woman that I married and have two children together with - a boy and a girl. When I wasn't not working, I spent my time with friends and family, or by writing poetry.

The journey began when I lost my job, it was two years after the war broke out. After that, life became increasingly difficult, I could not move freely because of all the checkpoints in the city and mostly stayed at home in the evenings.

I realized there was no future for either me or my family, so I decided to start life anew in another country. That was in September 2014.

First, I traveled to Egypt to look for a job. I couldn't find anything, and since I could not take my family there I decided to travel to Turkey, on to Europe. During the trip from Turkey to Italy, we were forced to spend eleven days at sea. The smugglers treated us very badly and we had no food or water. In the end, we were forced to drink sea water to survive.

It took 22 days and cost $ 7,500 to get from Turkey to Sweden. I am grateful to the Italian people who treated us well and arranged food and shelter. Another person I will not forget is the friendly bus driver we met when we came to Malmö. He let us go by bus to the Swedish Migration Board, even though we did not have bus passes.

Actually, our original plan was to seek asylum in Holland. But friends in Milan convinced me that Sweden would be a better country to build a life. So me and my wife made decided to go here. Today I regret that decision.

The escape route

I share an apartment today, in Karlskoga, where I live with several other people. The rent is high and my mail often gets lost. One time I ended up in trouble with the Tax Agency because I hadn't received an important letter. The lack of security is hard to bare. I find it difficult to communicate because society is so bureaucratic.

I haven't made a single Swedish friend here, so I miss my family and their warmth.

I try to study now and would like to work as a translator in a bigger city where I could get a job more easily. But I'm worried that integration here doesn't work. It doesn't appear like municipalities know how to take care of all of us refugees.

First you have to wait about a year to know if you get a residence permit, then you have to quickly acquire a home and learn the language. But the Swedish lessons available don't always function that well, often it is elderly people that teaches the language. I know many doctors, skilled physicians, who can't get a job because they haven't been able to learn Swedish.

I think a lot of Swedish people are afraid of us.

Many of us newcomers haven't been told what rules apply here, what responsibilities we have. I wish we could learn more about Sweden while waiting for asylum – like the fact that you have to learn the language quickly in order to have a chance to be integrated, or that you should show respect for Swedish traditions. But also that you should not commit minor crimes like not paying for the bus. Such things affects all of us refugees. I think a lot of Swedish people are afraid of us.

When the war is over I'm moving back to Syria. I think the time when people have been moving towards the Nordic region will have an end - the next period of time I hope that many people will return to rebuild their homeland. I haven't made a single Swedish friend here, so I miss my family and their warmth. I long to stroll down the old streets where I spent my evenings before the war began.

Sometimes I feel that my life here is just an illusion. Nothing more than bubbles that soon will burst.

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